


The Demise of Daucus Carota

by Kaoru_chibimaster



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: FFXV kinkmeme, Gen, Humor, RIP carrots, noctis being a drama queen, non explicit prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 17:11:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11257272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaoru_chibimaster/pseuds/Kaoru_chibimaster
Summary: Long Live the King. Well...we hope, considering his eating habits.





	The Demise of Daucus Carota

**Author's Note:**

> This prompt spoke to me. Mostly because I too hate carrots and would probably do the same:  
> https://ffxv-kinkmeme.dreamwidth.org/3892.html?thread=4975412#cmt4975412  
> "King Noctis bans carrots"

“By Royal Decree—”

“Pffftt heh heh heh heh…”

“ _Ahem!_ By Royal Decree, all carrots are—”

“Eheheheh oh my gods!”

“Prompto would you please!”

Ignis was already frustrated as is, having to repeat the message Noctis had told him rather vehemently over the phone. He stood before an audience of staff and diplomats, all gathered together to hear the king’s first decree after having ascended the throne. Unfortunately, this decree was utterly ridiculous and Ignis was sure the audience would be more upset that their time was wasted if anything. At least Prompto seemed to be enjoying the spectacle as he stood off to the side, sniggering and snorting away. Ignis’ lips thinned as the laughter started up again, unprompted this time.

“All carrots are hereby banned from the citadel grounds. Any found on the king’s plate will prompt a thorough investigation of the kitchen staff and subsequent termination of the culprit’s employment. That will be all,” Ignis concluded. He couldn’t see the crowd, but he was certain they were all giving him quizzical looks regardless.

A low buzz was heard from the audience as they likely discussed the complete waste of time this meeting was. Or perhaps they were discussing the implementation of a democracy into the Lucian government. Ignis would not blame them.

As they finally left, Prompto let loose and burst into laughter. Ignis frowned and rubbed at his temple, turning slightly to face Prompto’s general direction. Though the blond man had long since been accepted as a member of the crownsguard, he’d had no reason whatsoever to hang around Ignis as he addressed the king’s subjects. If anything, there were surely other duties he needed to attend to.

“Don’t you have somewhere to be, Prompto?” Ignis asked. He didn’t know exactly what, after all it wasn’t Prompto’s schedule he managed, but he was more than sure that there was something else Prompto should be doing. If not…Ignis would find something for him to do.

“Nope!” he wheezed through his chortles. “My whole day’s free. I just came to see the train wreck.”

Comforting.

“What you ought to do is knock some sense into Noct before I get to him myself! Honestly, _banning carrots_ …”

“He said he was gonna do it!” Prompto retorted, remembering the instance all too well. Not that Ignis would ever forget. He’d brushed it off as some teenage fantasy Noctis had dreamt up and left it at that. Never would he have figured that over a decade later, his charge would actually go through with it. In fact, he doubted he would’ve remembered that early declaration at all if not for Noctis actually following through on his words.

“What he should have done was create a serious decree addressing the reconstruction of Insomnia as well as diplomatic relations with the new budding governments of Niflheim and Tenebrae.”

Not that Noctis hadn’t been focusing on such things. But usually he kept the bills, the meetings and the signings behind closed doors. This was his first opportunity to bring his plans to the public and earn their trust and approval. And instead he chose to ban carrots. Ignis wondered to himself if it was a capital crime to smack Noctis upside the head.

Well, in truth it was…but he didn’t care.

“Aw, lighten up Iggy! It’ll endear him to the public. You know us plebs like hearing when royalty are just like the rest of us.”

“And when the public is ultimately displeased at the lack of political information they’ve been given once they’re over the wonder of Noctis being a human being?” A picky one at that.

A rustle of fabric was heard as Prompto shrugged. “It isn’t like they can vote him out.”

As true as that was, Ignis decided not to point out what revolutions were for. Besides, he doubted it would become that serious. However, he’d still prefer that Noctis at least take his job seriously.

As it were, not only did Ignis have to announce a pointless royal decree to people that sort of information mattered far more too, but he’d heard rumors from the staff that little notices were being posted up around the building with the same message Ignis had given. Who was posting them up and when, he had no clue, but they were lucky Ignis couldn’t see their hard work or he’d immediately set to tearing it from the walls. He was already dreading the buzz this likely created on social media…

“Nevertheless,” Ignis started again, “it would be prudent for Noctis to focus on bringing solutions to the public, not his dislike of vegetables.”

“Carrots. He didn’t ban other vegetables.”

“Well by the Six, knock on wood and pray for the farmers.” Ignis was waiting for beans to be banned next. Noctis already couldn’t stand them being spoken about in his presence.

“Iggy, he’s not gonna ban all vegetables!” Prompto laughed.

“Ramuh should strike you where you stand for telling such lies. Give it a few months.”

In the meantime, Ignis would try to figure how to successfully convince Noctis to _un-ban_ all vegetables when the time came.


End file.
